My Perception of Vacation has been Skewed

       Most of you know, I'm currently in Hawaii!  Its beautiful here.  But I'm not having the 'vacation' most people would want to while being here.  You see God has been very clearly telling me that I should take advantage of the fact that I have a week alone without any real responsibilities.  Its really been awesome, I've been able to talk to a good amount of my fellow YWAM friends who wished they would have done something before going home.  Re-entry can be a difficult process and I am fortunate enough to be able to take it slow.  I've filled my week with some pretty simple things, local coffee shops, Phone calls to home, lots of time in the bible, Snorkeling, and visiting Pearl Harbor.  Its been awesome.  The good thing about being an introvert is that I can very easily enjoy myself doing just about anything.  That being said, I'm getting ready to go to dinner with some of my 'roommates' from the Hostel here.
      I've told a few people about how I'm reading through the bible currently, and I stumbled upon a beautiful story.  Its in 1st Kings 19.  This is where The Lord speaks to Elijah.  Elijah is kinda just chillin on a hill waiting for the Lord to speak and many things happen,  First there is a huge wind storm, but The Lord was not in the wind.  Then there was a Earthquake, and The Lord was not in the Earthquake.  Then there was a fire storm of some sort, but The Lord was not in the fire.  After the Fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper, and this was the Lord's voice.
          So many times we, I, look for the Lord in huge things and huge ways, he is there I'm sure, but the way that he speaks to us on a personal level is often in something as small as a Whisper.  We have to take the time to settle down, slow down, and listen.  Its not easy with so many distractions in life, but this is where we can hear that small whisper. This is what I'm going for, and what I will be pursuing more of over the next couple of weeks.  I'm really trying to hear from the Lord what my next move is going to be, currently though, I'm leaning toward Seminary and getting a masters degree.  That could be MDiv or Youth Ministry, I'm not sure and haven't gotten that far, but as far as what's next, as every day passes, I think more and more about Seminary.
   

       So!  I leave for California tomorrow at 5AM.  I'll be with my bro Ronnie there, he's from YWAM. Then officially coming to Colorado September 5th, about 1AM I believe.  I'll be pretty busy for a little while though, I'm jumping right into a wedding that I'll be the best man for on the 21st.  With that comes some responsibilities that I haven't been able to attend to.  I would absolutely love to meet with every single one of you who have followed me on my journey.  Thank you for keeping up and caring.  I will continue with this blog... well, maybe forever!


Chained to him,
Jeremy



USS Arizona. 

Snorkeled with some sea turtles here. Habana Bay 

If you're going to read your bible in hawaii, why not do it in the most beautiful location? 

When Life speeds up, I slow down

     A lot has happened in the last two weeks.  Well first off, you should know that I'm sitting in a corner store in the middle of Sydney.  That should give you some perspective as to where I have been.   I graduated DTS and that was a beautiful moment.  But with that high time of fun and memories made, came the sad fact that we, as a group, had to part ways.  Saying bye isn't easy, and there is no easy way of doing it.  Some of my closer friends cried the second I gave them a hug, where some were more simple with a "I'll see you soon, bro" and a high five.  I will admit (for the first time) I cried a few times over those last days together.  Its crazy that we can get so close in a short period, but then break off going to different parts of the world.  Some friends will lose contact, some will talk to on a shallow level, but I can only hope most of them will stay close as the years go bye.  They have all earned a special place in my heart.

    That being said! I got to spend a week with a great group of people camping in a van!  We just sat on the beach all day and camped in the woods.  We rented this van from a site called WickedCampers for $10 a day.  Super cheap!  But, As you might be able to see in pictures, I had to sensor some of the words on the van, they like to paint their vans in weird ways.  But sitting around a fire playing worship and talking Jesus is something that I constantly look forward to in life, and we did it for 5 days!  I came to answer one of the questions I asked before, one that my school leader asked us before DTS ended... what is my response to "How was your Holiday/Vacation?"        
         Most of the students said they would be slightly offended by this, but why?  To be perfectly honest, the past 6 months was a bit of a Holiday.  Yes, it was hard and I had to work hard and go to school and do homework.  But that's just it, it was a specific Holiday to seek after Jesus.  Much like when people take trips to go do something like, climb a mountain, or surf in Haiti, or skydive in New Zealand.  Those things take work and months of training and preparation.    I had a specific purpose on this trip, to find true, deep, and lasting intimacy with Jesus Christ, and to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ in everything I say and do, no matter if its awkward or hard.  It took work and preparation in ways I didn't think it would, but it was the most amazing Holiday anyone could ever have.  Its a joy that is lasting and not temporary like riding a roller coaster.    And now I have to go back to daily life and daily struggles and daily temptations... Bring it on!
      So simply put, when people ask "How was your vacation?" I'll say, it was life changing.  The only things worth living for take work. Amen.

    Now to Sydney, Beautiful.  Feels a lot like Denver.  Sunny and everyone is really nice.  I will say a few small comments.  First, thank the good Lord that the drinking age in the U.S. is 21.  Here its 18 and staying in a hostel, I had the opportunity to see what 18 year old do with just that little bit of freedom.  It was awesome talking to them and I got to ask quite a few why they were here or what they were doing, come to find out they are all searching for something, weather its adventure, or pleasure, or running from parents, or just 'trying to have fun.' We know the truth is, that gap will never be satisfied unless they meet the Creator.  I only hope I was a small light in a dark world.  If you ever get to backpack through the world, just know how much of a light you can be to other travelers.

I sat here for about an hour today and read through 2nd Samuel. In chapter 14 there is a girl who is convincing King David to being his son back. Verse 14 then talks about how precious life is: 

"All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to being us back when we have been separated from him."

God is constantly calling us back to him. Live life to the fullest, constantly perusing Christ as he is searching for you. 

Where do I even start?

          So many times I sit back and think about being here, currently Brisbane, Australia. About being in this community and place with these people at this time in my life with these leaders and struggling with these issues (whatever they may be that day).  I tend to be more on the side that its all God's doing and timing, that where I am in life didn't just happen by chance, but like God is in full control of my everything, so he set up my every action before I was ever around.  And its amazing to know that he has my back in everything I do, this is something that we, as Christ followers, have to do constantly.  Remind ourselves that no matter what happens or where we are, God has us in his hands.

     I've been back on the YWAM base for a week now, and its been amazing.  It has been a lot more relaxed of a week then I've had over the past 6 months, mostly just finishing odds and ends in paper work and homework and meetings with the school leader.  This gives us a good amount of free time, which I tend to be intentional with my free time knowing that most of the friends I've made here, I may never see again.  We knew it from the beginning, but its weird to come down to that point.  I mean, I've shared life altering moments with these people, I've talked with them for countless hours sharing the most deep and intimate thoughts to each other.  I know that this is a process, but it does make me sad.  I hope for the best for my friends here.  I hope that one day we can do some kind of ministry together or run into each other once again.

     How can I even sum up the last 6 months? How am I going to answer the questions when I get home?  "How was Australia?" "What was the best part?" "What was the hardest part?" "What's next?" I think I'll come up with some easy answer, the one most people are looking for, the 5 second answer that I can give in passing conversation.  Honestly, these questions are not simple answers, and they will really only come out in time.  While sitting at coffee, or over dinner, or smoking a tabacco pipe, or whatever it might be. 

     As I sit here in this wonderful little coffee shop just down from the base called the Taverner, I'm realizing just how much I love this place.  I'm really going to miss it.  Its a wonderful life here, and sure there has been some hardships, but I really do love it here in Australia as well as YWAM.  From the beginning I figured that once I got to the last week, I would be at a point where I couldn't wait till I got home, that's why I originally booked my flight for the day after.  I'm a home body, and many days went by where I just thought about being home, and wanted to be there more then anything else.  Coming down to it though, I don't want to leave.  I love it here.  It's at the moment of when things come to an end that you realize just how wonderful they are.  I think that's what I'm going to go through this week, I'm going to miss the annoying people in the morning who want to talk when I just woke up, I'm going to miss the people at midnight who beg me to stay awake and hang out with them, I'm going to miss having to push myself in every new direction.  

I don't even know how to end this blog, It's going to take me some time to process.  More soon.

J

Dish crew.  Some of my best evenings were spent here. 

Men of DTS 

Beautiful Brisbane. I've posted this a few times, but it gets better and better every time I see it. 

Times like these never last, but I tipped over the hourglass

        My last week in India and entry back into Brisbane.

        We went down the mountain into a town called Siliguri.  We stayed at a bible college where they have a 2 year bachelor degree.  Its funny because we thought we'd go there to teach things on the bible, that's kind of what they implied.  Come to it, we did open airs for the first couple of days.  Which means, we would go into a common area, like a market place or a park, start to play music, dance around, then preach the gospel.  We weren't able to do this before as it can really cause a commotion and be a legal problem for us, we ended up doing 5 in 2 days.  Anyway, I loved it.  How cool that all these people come to just hear what we have to say.  I was elected by the team to give the gospel, which made me nervous, this is probably the first time any of these people have heard the good news of Jesus, and might be the last... no pressure.  The Lord guided my words and we saw some amazing seed's come, people raising their hands wanting to accept Jesus as Lord. God is Good.
     The rest of the time in Siliguri was amazing, we got to hang out with the students, play volleyball, and play worship on the rooftop, heck I even sat in on a theology class, they were talking about cults and I spoke a little bit on Mormonism, as its not so popular in India they didn't know much about it.  We taught the students about children's ministry and showed them how to do a skit that we do everywhere we go.  They took care of us, hanging on our every need and want,  they just wanted to show us love, and boy did they ever!  Thank you Bible college, you guys were awesome and we'll truly miss you.
 
     After this, we traveled.  11 hour train ride to Kolkutta, stayed there for a night, then 4 hour plane to Singapore and another 8 hour plane to Brisbane, Australia, which is where I write this now.
   Its quite an experience coming back into this side of the world.  It actually reminded me of going to India.  You know, we thought we were prepared, we read books and talked to people who had been there, looked at pictures and even watched movies, but going there is a whole different story.  Living life there is to truly jump into the culture, its something you can try to prepare for as much as you want, but until you've done it, you'll never understand.  Probably like parenting!   Well coming back to Australia is the same kind of idea.  Its really quite hard to put back into words.  The common view is that is easy to see just how much we waste here, and that is true, but I'm seeing just how nice it is here.  There isn't trash everywhere, I can drink the water safely, there's toilets with TP, and it feels like theres so much room everywhere.   I truly loved India, and loved the people, I'll miss it, but I am glad to be back in Australia.  Coming back to friends here that I had become so close to in 4 months time, then leave each other for 2 months.  It makes me think further about coming back to Colorado, where home is, where I'll see friends I've known for years as well as Family.  What a beautiful moment that will be.
        India as a whole, what can I say?  I've only had a little time to think it over and talk to the other teams to swap stories, but I've already come to realize that India was where God wanted me to be.  I think I got to see the most change, and from that, we ourselves changed a lot, we had to in order to adopt the culture and in order to do effective ministry.  Already I get asked, 'well what was the hardest part' and I don't have a simple answer for what seems like a simple question.  It was just a different culture, a different way of life, honestly life is harder there.   Throw any middle class westerner there for over 2 weeks and its going to be a struggle.  Just as I was leaving though, I felt adjusted, and not adjusted as in its what I prefer, but as in I didn't realize the difference anymore or miss the American way of life.  Maybe that what makes coming back to Australia so difficult.  I'm starting to see what I missed, which was hard to see because I loved the Indian people and will always have friends there.  I will end with this statement that has been said many times before;  I am so blessed to have been born and raised in America.  And it takes leaving to realize just how much of a blessing that is.

More to come soon.

Chained to him,
J





I <3 Darj

Oh drum set, how I've missed you. 

Open air. Gospel. 

#VolleyballLife

Street outside the college. Cows everywhere! 

I'm just trying my best to keep us all singin'

     I've only been writing blogs since January, that's just about 7 months, and I constantly question if its doing any good.  If people are reading it, or inspired by it, or care about what I'm doing (besides my parents, Hi mom!).  So every time I come to write a new one I tend to look back and think, is this worth doing?  Well the answers to my question came in many different ways this week. First, writing this helps me to work through things.  This is probably obvious to most of you and you can probably play it out like I'm a struggling movie character in a classic horror movie, everyone knows that the monster/zombie/murder is hiding behind the door but for some reason the character in the movie just doesn't see it!  Second, I come to check out my views of my blog every once in a while and see that on average, there are 155 views to each blog I write.  That to me is crazy.  So thank you for caring.  Third, is more physical evidence.  In the past few days I have gotten a few E-mails of people telling me that they were touched by something that was said in my blog, people that I've never before talked to in my life, that happen to come across it. And so I will continue on expressing my thoughts and feelings here and working through things.  Just know, that I really do appreciate all you readers, and I love when I get feedback or comments or E-mails from you, I love seeing the outside perspective of things. So thank you!  Dr. Watson once said in my psychology of human sexuality class that being in Love blocks the same neurotransmitters as being high on substance (such as cocaine), and so it can significantly damage our decision making ability.  I am clearly in love with Jesus, so maybe my neurotransmitters are a little blocked and I could use some help from someone more sane!

      I was just talking to Caitlin here (20, Canada) and I was telling her just some things that I see in her and we began talking about before DTS and now and the changes that we see in each other.  This is a pretty common topic these days and will probably be even more common over the last month here.  I've come to realize more and more that I didn't get what I was coming for.  I didn't get the hard biblical teaching I thought I would, or the seminary style of lectures I was looking for, or the beautiful piece of paper that says you know the bible.  But, all in God's plan. I came to realize,  instead I got lessons that I would have never thought I was looking for.  How to live in a Christian Community.  How to be a Light among the Lights.  A crash course on missions. A deep, impact full personal relationship with Christ. A chance to see the world.  A chance to serve Christ.  A deeper love for people, God's Children. And So many other things.

      Okay, moving on! Things have been cruising over the last week, I still have the same question on my mind of what the next step is, and probably will for the rest of my life, just like most people.  Always seeking for Christ kind of requires that, as God is always moving.  We're coming down to the end of it, there's only 10 more days left until I'll be stepping back on that plane.  I know from experience, this is an easy time to shut down.  To check out and start looking forward to home and basic things that I take advantage of, like a couch that I actually fit in! (People here are just naturally smaller). This is too easy of a mindset to get into. This is the time we have to really push through!   It gets worse though, tomorrow we're saying goodbye to beautiful Darjeeling and headed down the mountain.  The temperature will no longer be a comfortable 68 degrees, but a miserable 93 degree's with a humidity of 90%.  This is one of those times that as soon as you step out of the bucket shower area, you are once again sweating. 
     One of my professors in college once said this the first day of class; "Statistics show that as murder rates rise, so does the sale of Ice Cream."  Now as a young college mind, it was easy to think, 'so, after people go commit murder, they go out for Ice Cream after? creepy'  When the correlation is actually because of the rise in temperature that brings both of these things to increase.  Needless to say, we're not excited to be back in a hot and humid place. 
       It's about a 3 hour Jeep ride to Siliguri, where we will be doing more kids ministry.  Something new is that we are going to be teaching at a Bible College.  I have no idea what I, Jeremy, can teach BIBLE students, who have probably read through the bible 10+ times and are getting their masters in some type of theological study. Who knows, but what I do know is that I can bless the people, and maybe show them a little something of America if they care to know.  Maybe talk about some of the things I've come to learn over the last 6 months.  Who knows. 
      Last weekend was awesome, we went on quite a adventure.  It was a spontaneous journey that lead us to a school.  Now I could talk about the things we did there, children's parties, house visits, church sermons, and the like, but I'd rather talk about Sarah. (not her real name)   She is a true servant of Christ.  She's single, adopted 6 kids, runs the school, runs a church out of the school, and constantly hikes around for hours for fellowship among believers.  She is an inspiration to me and all of my team.  That is Dying To Self, that is what it means to be a follower of Christ.  After all the scheduled ministry was done, we got to just hang out with her and her 6 kids late one night while cooking dinner.  Those are moments I'll never forget.  Playing in the rain while the power is out genuinely enjoying each others company knowing that we have the same ultimate goal: Bring Glory to God. And nothing will ever, ever stop us.




Chained to him,

Jeremy
jcrob33@gmail.com 

Hike on! 

Tea! So good here. 

No room in the car, so we ride on top. 

House church fellowship. 

The question on my mind...

   Alright I don't know where I'm going to go with this because there is a lot I can say, but only so much that I should over the internet. But this will probably be more of a place for me to vent some of what I'm thinking and feeling over the last week or so, just a heads up...
     We have worship every morning with our team.  Usually just for a half hour or so, and its normally just Ronnie on a acoustic Guitar, sometimes when we really want to get wild I'll pickup and Djembe they have here on base.  Its usually relatively quiet as its early in the morning and no one really wants to talk let alone sing.  Our leaders really have to push us to do it, but its a good thing and we always see the benefit of praising Jesus in the morning and throughout our day.  Anyway, we often sing this song called "Set A Fire" by Will Reagan and there is a line in it that says "There's no place that I'd rather be."   This song and this line has effected me many times and gotten me through some hard times in life even.  It's something that I have to say just about every morning I'm here.  And once I say it I realize just how amazing it is to be here, there really is no place I would rather be, even when its hard and I miss home.  The days are going by faster and faster and things are starting to mix together where I don't realize what we're actually doing anymore or know the schedule.  People at the coffee shop next to base are getting to know us and our orders, its like, we're starting to actually submerge into the culture and lifestyle here.  Something that just wouldn't happen on most missions trips when you only go somewhere for two weeks or even a month.
    Anyway, Last week we did a kids camp again, it was quite different then the kids camp from a few weeks ago.  Honestly, it was a tough one only because we were just kind of thrown into it.  It was a day camp for 52 Hindu and Buddhist kids who didn't speak too much English.  And we were asked to basically run the entire thing.  If you know me, you know that I have some experience in working with kids and youth, and I quite enjoy that stuff.  This just added and extra little challenge. I pulled a lot of the games/activities/songs from one of my all times favorite camps; SKSK.  I constantly go back to that camp and how much I've learned from it while being a leader there.  So, if any of you SKSKers are reading this, just know that the skills you learn there, as in, how to work with kids and be able to stay organized in a large group situation, are valuable skills you will use the rest of your life.  Because of this skill, I was able to help run a great camp, especially with the rest of the team bringing energy and support.
    But back to the origins of this Blog, The question on my mind...
    What the heck am I going to do after DTS?  Suggestions? Ideas? Thoughts?  I mean I have a few of my own but I'd be open to just about anything at this point!  This hits me harder as I was forced to celebrate my 24th birthday last week.  24.  I mean come on.  I never thought I would be where I am now at the age of 24.  I feel like I've barely turned 21 and have just been able to explore the world, and explore myself!  I thought my this time I would be married, or at least on the road to it!  Figured I would be in a settled down place where I would be sitting for the next 15 or 20 years! But instead I'm just a kid and life is only now beginning.  What a ride.
     I first left home thinking that I would just put life at home on pause, and go straight back after DTS to my life at the church, working, same friends, same place.  I've come to find this just isn't possible.  Oh I'm not saying I'm not coming home, I very well could be there for the rest of my life, good old Highlands Ranch, Colorado.  But its not possible for me to run through the same things as before, I've changed, completely.  So now, I have options, where will I go now? Where will I end? What is my 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, and 2 year plan?  I can rightfully say, I don't have one.  Current thoughts.  Right as I get home, I'll actually do a bit of traveling in the states for weddings, vacation, catching up, and such.  During this time I want to push myself to truly read through the bible, as every morning I'm forced to shut it and start the day wanting to instead keep my head in the Word.    But after that, what?  I could come back to Aussie and staff for 1.5 years.  I could go to Seminary for my MDiv, I could look for a youth worker Job, I could move to California.     I honestly pray that God will Close doors, as well as open the right ones.
This has been my prayer:
"I am yours do what you wish, I am yours and I know this.  I am yours do what you wish."


Chained to him,

Jeremy

To learn more of my India Outreach. Visit: indiaywam.blogspot.com

Beautiful hikes. Would have been much nicer if I wasn't carrying all our gear! Weighing about 60 pounds. 

All I want is Faith

   Faith, true faith.  This brings everything.  When having true faith, you start to understand how God works.  You start to see things in a different light.  You start to notice things you never have before and realize just how big God is and how he has his hand in every little thing.  "Not a single sparrow will fall to the ground without the father knowing it." (Matt. 10:29)  You start to believe that God really is watching over you, and, not saying that Life is going to be easy, but the father truly wants what is best for you and for his Glory.  Faith brings so much more then I can even try to explain. "Faith Brings Joy" (Romans 5)
     I have a friend at home, and if you know me, you probably at least know of him.  His name is Matt.  He has a tattoo that I never really understood, it reads T.A.H (Things Are Happening).  Sure, he's explained it to me many times about how God was speaking to him over his outreach in Haiti, that even when he doesn't think he is doing much, just stepping out in faith, things will happen, even when we don't see it.  Things are always happening, God is always moving. This is something I had to force myself to remember and believe last week.
    We went to a small town called Mirik, its just down the hill from Darjeeling, but it takes about 3 hours to get there because of the roads here.  Everyone got car sick and wanted desperately for the road trip to end. When it finally did, we got to a church, not in the mood to meet anyone at all, but we were there to meet the team that was putting on a Youth Camp that week which we would be helping with.  I got excited.  One of my favorite weeks in the year is camp.  I end up doing at least two every summer and always have since I can remember.  I went as a camper and as soon as I could be a counselor, I did, then ended up taking a role over skits and preaching and tech and games, and doing everything I could to help because I loved camp so much and it was a place where I saw growth in my faith, even today.
     5:45am, Wednesday morning.  We walk down to the event hall, and I'm ready for a long day of crazy activities and games and deep talks with the students.  First is worship.  This lasted about an hour which was awesome, then lecture just like any camp ever.  I start to feel a little skeptical when I find out the topic is Fear The Lord, something we just learned about during DTS and a deep topic for students.  Lecture went on straight through lunch! A true college type lecture.  I figured after lunch the craziness would begin... I was wrong, more worship... more lecture! Then a break at 3:30, I come back at 6 thinking it would be a fun evening... I start the night out with a short devotional, where my main goal was to make the students laugh! Then, more lecture! and dinner at 8... then sleep at 9.   This same schedule went on the entire of the week.
          Come to the end of the week, I was disappointed, thinking "I hope kids don't go away thinking this is what the Christian life is, that there is true fun and adventure in Christ"  But its a wrong thought to have.  I look back and realize those kids sat there and didn't say a word every single day,  God was moving.  Even though we did nothing but sit in the back and read our bibles, (they didn't speak in english) somehow, I like to believe and have faith that God was moving, and even using us, to glorify his name.  That Things Are Happening, even when we don't see what good we might be doing by just being there for support.  All Glory to God. Please take my life and use it.
    It makes me appreciate the wonderful camps and programs at home, the ones that changed my life as a young student.  Just as I got back to the base I had messages waiting for me about how amazing SKSK was this year (This is the first time in 13 years I've missed it), and that the Liquid students are headed to California for Hume Lake/SD this week.  Students, realize just how amazing these times are.  They go by quickly, grab them, hold on to every memory you can.


Chained to him,
Jeremy

(Team Blog: http://indiaywam.blogspot.com/)

Drum set I briefly played. 

Ronnie giving a Devo.