*bing*
"Hey when's the wedding again?*
Ugh. Why are you asking me questions? To many questions. It doesn't even matter who its from. It can be about anything.
*bing*
My computer tells me of yet another text message, and of course, yet another questions.
"How was the trip? Glad to see you're home safe"
Questions. Again. More questions. Its like these people care about me, and I have clearly shown in some way that I care about them.
But not today. Today, it hit me.
Now don't read what I'm writing in the wrong way. Especially for you Extroverted type people, this will be difficult for you to understand. Its not that I'm a jerk, I love the people around me, I love being with them, serving them, talking to them, praying with them and for them, and continue to do so. But gosh dang, ask anyone who is truly an introvert. Sometimes, we must be alone. We must be silent.
*bing*
I mean really, who could that be.
I hear someone approaching, coming to my domain, coming into my sacred space, a place I have created to be alone just the way I like it. With a small dish of candy, a book by Dr. Drew Pinsky with the lights on just enough that I can make out the words, the window open to be able to smell fall, and background music from Explosions in the Sky playing through Pandora.
Who would want to come into this area? Why would anyone be here?
'Hi!'
Its my sister, who is in a transition moving to a new place, staying here for a couple of days. She means no harm at all, but in the introvert mind, this is screaming pain.
I quickly react;
'you're too extroverted for me, this is introvert hour.'
I'm sure this is taken as a rude mark, but even speaking words to another human is like trying to push a old, heavy, broken down car up a hill by yourself. The advantage I have is that I know my weakness, which is very typical of an introvert, being aware of their own flaws.
'Can't I just sit here quietly?'
'No, that annoys me.'
This is something that doesn't make sense. Even as I write it now. She's my sister, someone I love, but my introverted mind has gone too far and now become a selfish devil. We all have internal battles, the introverts battle often comes out in ways that we can't even understand.
She leaves. I breath a sigh of relief knowing that I still have a few hours to myself.
As most of you know, I studied Psychology for my undergrad. I completely understand personality theories and took an interest in this subject, especially to try and crack my own code. I use to often think I was the only one feeling this way, but once you begin to see the differences in personality, it becomes increasingly obvious that this is an introverted way.
For some, this kind of feeling comes often (I'll explain the specific 'feeling' later). For others, like myself, it might be once a semester, or once a year. Most, like myself, have learned how to cope and recharge without disturbing others. You might never even know who is an introvert. For example, most people that know me truly think I'm an extrovert and are surprised to see that I am indeed an introvert because I have learned what I need to do to keep a charge (I'll explain that too).
But there are times, like today, that it hits me.
Back to the feeling side. Do you remember having to write papers in school? Specifically those hard research papers that would take hours to do? And, especially in high school, you would wait until the day before to do it? Well, its the feeling leading up to that moment of opening up Microsoft Word and typing in the first sentence.
Not knowing how to start the paper, or where to get research from, or what the introductory sentence is going to be in order to capture an audience.
That feeling is the best way I can describe what happens to us introverts. Social interaction becomes a task, but only when we aren't charged.
Charged? Yes a confusing word to use when we're talking about personality theory. Remember Wall-e the little robot Disney made a few years ago? He would pick up trash all day long and be happy as could be while making 'robot nosies' and dancing to Put On Your Sunday Clothes from Hello, Dolly! Well, as soon as he ran out of battery he would have to unfold his little solar charger and recharge. This is exactly what Introverts do. Most will never lose battery charge as they know how to keep going. But if they ever hit 0%, its like an iPhone, it takes a while to charge up when completely dead.
So, what's the best thing you can do for your introverted friends? Well, most of them will tell you when they need an hour to themselves, and though it may come off harsh, try not to be offended.
Last thing, and let me make this perfectly clear, Introverts DO NOT hate people, or dislike them in anyway. They simply recharge by being alone.
God made people different, there is no doubt about it. I don't really know why sometimes, but, I think on my next post, I'll explain some of the great qualities introverts have.
